Step-by-Step Guide: How to Bend a Board Like a Pro

Step 1: Pick Your Board Wisely

  • Choose a board that deserves bending.
  • Bonus points if it looks straight enough to betray its eventual fate.

Step 2: Ask the Board for Consent

  • Politely inform the board about your plans.
  • If it creaks in disapproval, remind it who’s boss.

Step 3: Find a Source of Heat

  • Heat helps make wood flexible. Your options include:
    • A steam box.
    • A hairdryer cranked to “volcanic.”
    • Your sheer determination (and maybe a blowtorch).

Step 4: Soak the Board in Water

  • Dunk it in your bathtub or nearest lake.
  • If it starts floating away, that’s a sign it’s planning its revenge.

Step 5: Apply Pressure

  • Brace one end of the board against a sturdy object (like your ego).
  • Slowly apply pressure to the other end until it politely agrees to bend.
  • If it snaps, calmly whisper, “I meant to do that.”

Step 6: Clamp It Into Place

  • Use clamps to hold the board in its new shape.
  • If you don’t own clamps, duct tape and blind optimism work too.

Step 7: Wait Patiently

  • Let the board sit overnight. If you’re impatient, yell encouraging words at it.
  • If the board reverts to its original shape, you’ve just created a “bounce-back” masterpiece.

Step 8: Show Off Your Work

  • Admire your slightly bent, mildly traumatized board.
  • Share photos online with captions like, “Perfect curvature achieved!”
  • Brace for comments asking if you’ve tried consulting a carpenter.

Step 9: Reassure the Board

  • Congratulate the board on its transformation.
  • Promise to never attempt this again (at least until the next project).

Step 10: Profit

  • Sell your bent board as “modern art.”
  • Retire early and never speak of this guide again.
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This is hilarious. I went to school for board bending

ABL is the godfather of board bending

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